Here comes a PSA (Public Sanity Announcement)

The spammers have launched an attack on my blog. So from now on to post here you will have to use the verification word. I know it's a pain, but let's see how it goes. Thanks and keep reading. New posts are coming.

Here comes a PSA (Public Sanity Announcement)

The spammers have launched an attack on my blog. So from now on to post here you will have to use the verification word. I know it's a pain, but let's see how it goes. Thanks and keep reading. New posts are coming.

Blowouts and Blowhards

This past weekend and the weekend before that, my boys the Jimmy Lee Jets have beaten the opposing teams by a combined score of 130 - 0. That is not an exaggeration, nor is it an untruth. They are unbeaten this year and have worked hard to get there and had a lot of fun along the way. Just ask them.
Now, at the last tournament in Oakdale we were invited to, we beat all five teams to take the trophy. Then it started.

1. "You have older kids on your team" Our kids meet the age guidelines for 3rd graders and under. We meet the weight reqs for running backs and linemen.

2. "Your kids are so physical" I thought this was football. A game where you tackle and block each other by using your body, hands and PHYSICAL strength. We do not allow cheap shots or taunting.

3. We DO build student athletes.

4. We DO tutor kids that need it.

5. We DO have the "Ticket to Play" program. Each player must take a sheet to school to be filled out by their teacher that says what kind of week they had at school. If a bad report comes in, they get to dress in their uniform, go to the game and stand next to me as my waterboy the whole game. They DO NOT get to play. If their parents come to us and say they have been out of line, they DO NOT get to play.

Basically these people are saying we cheat. Our kids come to play and are prepared to play. Some of them have come out and been with us since they were five years old. We teach the fundamentals, we teach fair play and we teach them to be good sports. They shake hands with the other team after a game win or lose. We DO NOT celebrate at the other team's expense.
It's really sad that when you are beaten fairly and by better teams that people want to start looking for ways to cheapen your win.

Part Time Quest to be a Super Villain

I was going to joke about something my Dad and I were talking about. There are Red light cameras placed at various intersections all over Minneapolis. Mostly in areas that seem to have a high density of us so called minorities (everybody knows we are responsible for the most crime). Oh, I forgot there is one downtown on 11th and Hennipen.
Anyway, we were joking about running the lights in the middle of the night and we joked about an elaborate plan to drive through the light, trip the camera, wearing a mask and giving the finger and doing it all over the city. So my post was going to be me pretending to plan for doing just that, hence the name for this post. Then I started to think about what I was going to write and then wondering if I could get into trouble for even joking like that especially in the format I was going to use for the joke. It was to read like a prep list.
Well, most of you folks that know me, would also know I would be kidding, but I can't control who reads this blog. In light of the world events over the last few years. I decided that I should not write it out in the list format. Some over zealous coocoo might think I was serious and "turn" me in or "drop dime" as they used to say back in the day. Sucks that I have to be paranoid about stuff like that. I am not creating the Anarchist's Cookbook, I just wanted to be funny, but I don't want to be telling jokes behind bars to Bubba my cellmate and joke critic. I wonder if this is what the Muscovites felt like years ago, worrying that a neighbor would turn them in for saying the wrong thing.

Stupid, dumb, Jack@$$es
I am now starting to be invaded by some dorks saying things like I saw your blog and if you come check out my blog "blah blah blah, you can blah blah blah blah" Spam is evil. I didn't go to any(internet paranoid by nature :) )I don't even like the real Spam. I would rather eat headcheese... wait, no I wouldn't!
I wish I could find where these people live and drop my old magazines and newspapers in their house, preferrably with diapers and fishguts wrapped in the papers.
Go away evil spammers.

Yep, I'm a little worn down by this cold, sniffles and sore throat.

It's the Geek we all know and love!!!

First Item
Check out the movie The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi
If you like Samurai's, swords and cool stories of revenge, check this one out. If you don't, you ain't no geek. The swordplay is very good, there are funny parts and some cool revenge. The main character is played by one of my favorite Japanese actor's "Beat" Takeshi Kitano. He's got some other stuff that is pretty good to watch as well.
When you get a chance, check out Sonatine. You may also see him on the Spike TV show, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge(MXC), as one of the hosts. Originally, it was a Japanese game show from the 80' early 90's, but now some folks have revoiced the show and it's really funny. I blogged about it last year.

"Here I Come to Save the Day!!!" Mighty Mouse

In my quest to create the perfect cool superhero to write a book about and launch my career in the comic industry, I have created many characters. Some very good, others really really bad.
One of the bad ones is called Centipede Man(The Human Centipede)
His Powers:
The ability to run as fast as a Centipede does proportionately (60 to 70 mph)
Climb walls
Crawl into to tight spaces
And the coolest power of all: The ability to drop his legs and grow new ones. This power would be used if he were captured or crawled into to space that was just too tight. He could also use the legs offensively, by dropping one and throwing it.

Scene 7 The Bank Lobby

Officer Jensen: "Thanks again for foiling the crime CM." The officer shifts nervously back and forth eyes darting around the room.
CM: "You are welcome Officer Jensen! All in a days work!" He says in a bellowing hero voice. He also notices the officer looking around and avoiding eye contact.
CM: "What seems to be the matter officer?"
OJ: "Well, it's the leg thing. It really grosses everyone out, we never know what to do with them after you're gone. They just keep twitching and wiggling. Last week one of them kicked the Chief"
CM: "I uh, I never thought of that. What do you do with my um..(he whispers) legs?"
The scene pulls back and the room is littered with Centipede Mans legs.

See, not such a good hero. That one's almost as bad as The Amazing Sea Cucumber, one touch of her slimy skin and you become delirious. In real life this happened to a friend cleaning his salt water fish tank. He touched his Sea Cucumber and the slime was on his fingers and he somehow ingested the slime, by it getting on the beer he was drinking. He went a bit delirious and then took an unscheduled nap.

"This town needs an enema!" The Joker, Batman 1989
I think I am going to look for a new template to brighten this place up and start adding some pics. Don't hold your breath. Life's been pretty busy and getting busier. If any of my Web geek friends out there have any suggestions I am open to anything.

Cake Tip

After a recent conversation with a friend I disclosed a few old cake tips to her I read in a book.

Cake Tips: The Art of Loving your Cake By Rachel Delouise Paulson
Cake is never too old to be eaten. Should there be mold on the cake, cut it off. The rest is still good to be eaten.

Cake Tip 32
Should the cake become stiff or mature as it is called in the industry, you may invoke other means of revival. The best way to revive a mature piece of cake is to place it in a microwaveable dish with lid, add two teaspoons of water and microwave on high for 17 seconds or less, depending on the size of the piece. The steam from the water will revive the cake long enough to be eaten. You may want to add the steamed cake to ice cream, and this will also mask the maturity of the cake. Bon Appetit!

BETTER THAN CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today for lunch dad showed me something really cool. He kicked his leg out. Still have a ways to go, but we're all so happy. I told him to sit back down when he tried to moonwalk, one dance move a day is all he is allowed.

A mind is terrible thing to um, to um.........

We had a huge storm a week and a half ago. It came in two waves. When the "EYE" of the storm passed over I went to the grocery store. While I was in the store everything was calm and peaceful. The moment I came out of the store with my stuff in paper bags(the first and last time I use paper) the heavens opened up. I was soaked, the bags were soaked and some of the stuff in the bags was soaked. I drive to the house, back up to the garage and get soaked some more unloading things. I unpack the groceries and realize I left a bag at the store. I go back, get soaked again, check the carts, go in the store and ask if anyone has seen my stuff. Everyone says no and I proceed to buy eveything I think I lost in the bag.
Get soaked going from store to car again and from car to house. I get in and there is the bag I thought I left behind. I decide to take my pruned up water logged skinned self up to my room and have some ice cream, it would have been better if I had some cake.

Let's hear it for the boy(s) Denise "Nece" Williams

Yesterday was homecoming for my boys at Jimmy Lee. I managed to get out for the games. Both the 3rd and 4th graders won their games. We beat our main rival, Frogtown. It was really good to see how much all of the kids have improved since I last saw them. They were all pretty happy to see me which made me feel even better. It means my yelling was missed. :) We also received coach jackets from the Rec Center. All in all, a very good day.

B-movies, not just garbage, but a necessary evil and pleasure

The B-movie is something I relish. It helps you distinguish good movies from crap. Who doesn't want to see Anthony Sabato Jr. fight the Man-Shark., half man, half shark, all terror.
Don't forget movies like Plan 9 from Outer Space or Them, the giant ant movie. Some of these movies are so bad you have to watch them twice, just to be sure it was as bad as you thought. This weekend I watched a movie called Danger: Diabolik. I would classify it as a B-movie, but a good one, there are a few. The main character is Diabolik, a super suave cat burglar with a secret lair and drives one of my favorite cars. The Jaguar E-type is probably one of the coolest cars ever created. It looks a bit like a squashed and stretched Volkswagen. Anyway, the movie is about the police trying to catch him and him outsmarting them at every turn. Rent it when you need a break, to geek out. Every body needs to geek out.