Hodgepodge or Meatloaf thoughts - ground up and mashed together goodness
70's Love Poem - By Rufus D. Pearson Jr. from the book: A Smile Cracked my Lips
OOOOOOOh Girl, Your afro is round like the Sun,
OOOOOOOh Girl, Your Koohlats are the color of Gold,
OOOOOOOh Girl, Your platform tennis shoes will allow you to reach for the stars,
OOOOOOOh Girl, Your tubetop is like a rainbow colored cornucopia ready to burst forth with fruit,
OOOOOOOh Girl, Do not run. Do not run.
I expect Rufus to pop up from time to time to share his book of love with us.
Turkeys getting Turkey
I was unfortunately at the Edina Cub Foods today getting some last minute things and killing some time while I was waiting for a friend to meet me. First of all stay away from the grocery store before holidays. Most people were nice. I said "most". The rest of the people were giving thanks for people to get the "heck out of their frickin' way!". I thought I was going to be giving thanks for being bigger than the guy in the parking lot doing 90 mph who almost hit Stinky (The Benz I currently drive). I yelled Happy Thanksgiving and waved, but when it came out of my mouth it sounded more like "You gas happy Navigator drivin' mutha scratcher!" The wave was on what networks call a 7 second delay (see Janet Jackson Superbowl appearance)
This was the same guy who was in the store and was obviously much more important than everyone else. He was crying about having to wait while the people ahead of him were being helped. There were about a half a million people in the store and the workers were going at a good pace, not being slow at all.
The holidays should not be stressful. People, please remember your family/friends will still love you even if you forget to get cranberries, so slow down, be kind to those around you and give real thanks.
Sean Connery: I'll take The Rapist for $500, Alex
Alex Trebec: That's therapist Sean, therapist
Sean Connery is probably my most favorite Bond. Those lines above are from an old Saturday Night Live skit. The Spike network is playing bond movies all weekend. I never get sick of seeing these movies.
Goldfinger is one of the cooler Bond movies, it has Oddjob the hat throwing bodyguard, Pussy Galore (dig that kooky name) and a a bad guy with jones for gold. Auric Goldfinger.
Favorite Line from Goldfinger is when bond has been capture by Auric and is strapped to a table with a "laser" cutting the table between his legs.
Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.
How cool is that. none of that telling the whole world take over plan, Goldfinger was like "You can straight up and die Bond, up yours "
Favorite scene. Bond is chased by bad guys and one gets into his car. They drive for a ways and then Bond hits the ejector seat button and the guy flies out with a scream. It looks pretty funny and the scream they gave the guy was even better.
I also learned a new word just a little while ago. The word is Strawbabies. A Strawbaby is a fruit. People sometimes can them, they make Strawbaby flavored soda and my person favorite is the chocolate dipped Strawbaby. My great niece really likes Strawberries and that's what she calls them. "Uncle Ricky, can I have Strawbabies please?", don't forget to use the batted eyelashes when you ask me...it works every time. :)
posted by His Papalness @ 7:34 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Strawbabies are good!
My niece can't say the hard c sound. This summer she said "Un'uhl Dave, we're gonna have 'orn on the 'ob! Don't 'ut if off, I like it on the 'ob."
Hey, Amazon doesn't show any books by Rufus D. Pearson, Jr, nor any books titled "A Smile Cracked my Lips." What are you trying to pull here? That tubetop line is pretty suspicious!
As there has been no post from your regular blogger, allow me to introduce myself...please to meet me, hope you know my name. :)
“There’s a crisis in the Ukraine…. There’s a crisis in the Ukraine!!! The Ukrainian elections have been marred by fraud and the fight for democracy continues, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”….
Seems like I heard Brian Williams say something like that on the NBC Nightly News. But who cares, right? Certainly not me. I’ve got bills to pay, leaves to rake, and football to watch. Not to mention… I’ve got a brand new six pack in the fridge that hasn’t even been touched. If I really wanted to bone up on my new democracy/election knowledge I’d concentrate on the 200 Billion dollar exercise known as The War in Iraq. But, that ain’t happening either. No…. I think I’ll file this Ukrainian issue in the “don’t care enough to listen” file in the far reaches of my brain (See: Bosnia, Global Warming, Budget Deficit, etc…). At least that’s what I thought. Until…..
Headline: “Ukraine to reprobe Yushchenko's suspected poisoning”
“What’s that all about? Could it be real?” So I started paying attention. As it turns out, one of the contenders in the Ukrainian Presidential Race may have been poisoned by the opposition party. Poisoned. In 2004. In an effort to explore this further, I’m going to ditch the wacky Ukrainian names and replace them with names I can relate to for ease of understanding. Moving forward the following legend will apply:
Yuschenko = Ted (new school)
Yanukovich = Steve (old school)
Just a little background. Ted is the rising star of the Ukrainian political scene. He’s charismatic and good looking. Think John Edwards with a Ukrainian accent and a chance to win. In addition to that, his opponent is backed by Mother Russia. The ruling party was out to do anything possible to keep Ted from winning the presidency. Apparently, even if it meant poisoning his food with dioxin. I’m not real sure what dioxin is, so I looked it up. Websters defines dioxin as:
Main Entry: di·ox·in Pronunciation: (")dI-'äk-s&nFunction: noun: any of several heterocyclic hydrocarbons that occur especially as persistent toxic impurities in herbicides.
How do you even poison someone with Dioxin? Do you pour a little dioxin in his ketchup; maybe serve a little “chicken dioxin”? And wouldn’t you notice if someone slipped some dioxin into your mashed potatoes? “Gee honey… dinner was great tonight, but why was everything a bright fluorescent green?”
As time goes on, Ted’s health begins to take a turn for the worse. And even worse than that his looks start to change. When I say his “looks start to change”, that might be a bit of an understatement. Imagine George Clooney. Now imagine if one day George Clooney showed up and looked like Yoda. And Yoda had been stung in the face by a swarm of bees…… really big bees. You simply cannot overstate the change in Ted’s appearance. He would be the ultimate candidate for an “extreme makeover”. Instantly, the Ukraine is abuzz with rumors about the change in Ted’s looks. Steve and his opposition party release a statement dismissing the disfiguration as “possibly herpes”. Seems like a reasonable answer. I’m guessing the general population of politicians usually runs about 10-15% “herpes positive”. Throw good looks into the mix, and this number has to jump well above 50%.
Throughout all of this chaos, the Ukrainian Supreme Court (quick… can you name the chief justice?) has declared the previous elections invalid, and stated that new elections will be held on December 26th. Ted versus Steve in a battle to lead the Ukraine. Suddenly, I find myself interested in the Ukrainian Presidential Election. Never thought that would’ve happened. I’m not sure what’s more exciting. Is it the will of the people being served? Maybe it’s the growth of democracy around the world? I know one thing for sure. If Ted wins, I’ve got a great answer to that old Seinfeld game… “Who’s the ugliest world leader?” Sorry Ted….
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